We all have that person in the group that seems to always “play dumb” when it comes to paying a joint bill.

Usually, when you’re with your close mates, it’s not a problem to shout your friends dinner! In fact, if you’re anything like my friends, you’re probably at the till fighting about who’s going to pay!

It’s those slimy strangers at friend’s birthday dinners or that one friend that constantly forgets their cash or card that always finds a way to worm their way out of their bill…

 I recently had a bad experience with someone and it’s actually embarrassing fighting about these things. I don’t bother arguing, I just leave it and pay their bill. As do most of the people I know. I just feel like some people are not even embarrassed to act cheap and deceitful anymore. I’ve now learnt the way to act dumb when it comes to the bill:

1. Leave before everyone is finished so you don’t have to deal with paying and;
2. Tell the person who paid for you that you will only pay them what you think the price should be, because you’re entitled and it’s your world, duh.

   F^*&*ing genius, mate.

   

 

Here are some courtesy tips for y’all who get confused:

• Just bring cash. Especially if you don’t like putting in extra. If you don’t bring cash, go to an ATM down the road!
• Pay your part with your card. Or transfer the money then and there. We all have smart phones.
• You need to follow up the person after dinner. Don’t play dumb and make them contact you about the payment.
• Don’t order alcoholic drinks if you DON’T WANT TO PAY FOR THEM! Also, pay for your drinks as you go so that your group doesn’t have to pay for your bottles of wine and cocktails.
• Remember, it’s really embarrassing for you when you pull the cheapo tricks. Everyone can see what you’re doing.
• If you agree to a buffet price before turning up, you pay the buffet price when you eat none, some or all of the food. Restaurants don’t care how much you eat-they just charge you.
• Say thank you to the person who pays for you and pay them back as soon as possible.
• If you can’t afford to come, communicate with your friends to make an arrangement and if it isn’t possible-don’t come.
• It is a bummer when you only eat $20 worth of food, but you end up paying $50. That’s why groups usually communicate about the fact that there’s no split billing. If there’s a buffet, everyone agrees on the set price and if you don’t want to pay, don’t come.
• Choose restaurants that do split billing if you don’t like sharing.
• If partners aren’t invited, don’t make it awkward and ask if yours can come. 
• Just be kind, fair and reasonable.

Sorry this sounds a bit bossy, but I feel like someone needs to say it! I’m sure I’m not the only one who sees it happening! First world problems, am I right?

P.S. If you’re kind, I’ll never hesitate to shout you and even give you my last cent if need be. If you’re not, I doubt anyone will want to get you anything and you’ll be worming your way out of things your whole life.

Here’s to all the generous and honest people out there!

Lots of love and frustration,

Magda xx