‘Oldest child syndrome’, ‘middle child syndrome’, ‘youngest child syndrome’; whatever you want to call it- we’re all stereotypes of our birth order. My sister and I have a bi-polar relationship. One minute we’ll be on the phone laughing and excited to see each other. Then I see her walking up to me wearing my favourite jeans and the storm clouds roll in. Apparently I make her mad too. That’s news to me because as far as I’m concerned, I’m always respectable, responsible and overall a perfect role model. Wait. Is having that opinion of myself a symptom of ‘oldest child syndrome?’ Can’t be, I’m always right.

 My younger sister and I came together and discussed our differences. For every issue that I, as the older sister have, she formulated a response on behalf of all the lazy, irresponsible…I mean…on behalf of all the lovely younger siblings out there. And vice-versa.

 

Round One: Big sister. Of course.

 

Big Sister- You will not stop wearing my clothes without permission even though we have been having the SAME ARGUMENT FOR YEARS!!!

 

Little Sister- Well, remember that time, two years ago when you borrowed my dress? Yeah that’s right, talk about the pot calling the kettle black…Plus, I was raised on your hand-me-downs so what’s changed now, boo?

 

Big Sister- whenever you decide to have a big night, you don’t contact our parents and I’m left to pick up the pieces!

 

Little Sister- Loosen up, if you let your hair down and had some fun for once, you would understand why getting told off is worth it!

 

Big Sister- You never pay me back and when I ask for the money you make me feel like I’m some kind of bitch taking the food off the table.

 

Little Sister- I bought you a coffee yesterday- don’t hate, just appreciate.

 

Big Sister- Mum and dad never let me do half the things that you got to do when we were younger. It’s like they did a trial run with me and decided that you deserved to have all the fun!

 

Little Sister- Thank you for being the guinea pig!

 

Big Sister- Where’s my dry shampoo? In your room. Where’s my mascara? In your room. Where are my thongs? In your room. How many times do I have to tell you that if you borrow something at least put it back?!

 

Little Sister- OK, sorry, I was desperate; It won’t happen again.

 

Big Sister- You were desperate every week for the past 24 years? Wait, is that my jumper you’re wearing? OMMGGGGG.

 

Round Two: Little sister. Pfft, first the worst, second the best.

 

Little Sister- For so long I was wearing your hand-me-downs, I’ve had to try to follow in your footsteps and I’m forever living in your shadow!

 

Big Sister- It’s tough being the golden child, but someone’s got to do it.

 

 

Little Sister-The photo albums are full of baby photos of the golden child because by the time the second baby came along, they were over it!

 

Big Sister– Listen, I was living the dream until you came along.

 

Little Sister– I’m always being compared to you, everyone thinks that you’re the smart, responsible one; but remember that time….

 

Big Sister– Yeah well, that means that they think that I’m the ugly, boring one. And yes, I do remember that time…

 

Little Sister– I never know what your mood is going to be like. Who will walk out of your bedroom today? A cute little bunny? Or a rogue pig?

 

Big Sister– It’s probably going to be the rogue pig today because you’re WEARING MY FAVOURITE TOP AGAIN!!!

 

Little Sister– You say I have no sense of responsibility but little do you know that today I didn’t even buy the new Michael Korrs bag that is actually a ‘need’ in my life and I cooked dinner. So what have you got to say for yourself now?

 

Big Sister– How’s your tummy? Mine’s not great.

 

All jokes aside, having a sister is like having an inbuilt best friend. No matter how much we bicker or disagree, we will always have each other’s back. As an older sister, I am fiercely protective of my little sister and I only want what’s best for her. I know that in turn, she is always looking out for me and we make each other’s lives so much better.

I love you Anny Fanny!

Lot’s of Love,

Magda xx